City or Country Life? Part 1

As I was driving home today, this thought popped into my head: "I really don't miss London." Rather a random thought I know, but then, I always find those to be the most interesting ones.

I lived in London for over 14yrs until, just over a year ago, when I decided it was time for a change. Life had been good in the Big City, but things had started to weaken. The dwindling friends as they moved away or out of London, the single serving friends of the night, as Tyler Durden's alter ego so rightly put it and the ever so growing larger and younger population…

Or maybe it was just that I was getting on a bit. Who knows? Point is, I turned around one day to find myself abandoned by all. How selfish of them to go and get married and have children while I wasn’t looking. And then, to top it all, to move away without so much of a blink. Who was there to bring you chocolate every day during your third trimester and eat it with you so you wouldn’t feel guilty? Who, I ask you? Yes, you know who you are!!!

So, after a quick week-end to visit the area - and trying out the "local" club, roughly 40 min drive away - I spent a couple of weeks racking my brain trying to come up with good reasons why I should stay.
Well, let see:

• My brilliant job... Nah, hated it. Was nothing of what I was promised and everything I'd always feared and dreaded. 
• My fantastic friends... like I said, most of them had buggered off by then and the few that were still around where miles away. That's one of the problems of the Big City, takes just as long to go across than to go from Exeter to Plymouth... and even if you do cover quite a few more miles, you spend just as much on petrol! 
• Great nights out... Oh, but the attraction of the glittering lights as the hours turned to darkness, when you find yourself surrounded by people proudly wearing their beer goggles, had worn off ages ago.

So, a few days later, I talked to Ash and told her I was moving down. I knew she'd be excited about it, but there were a few reactions I didn't expect from the other people in my life.
For some, the very concept of moving, just like that, without apparently really thinking it through, had come as a bit of a shock and I was reminded of everything I would miss from here, the type of life to expect and, to top it all, was kindly instructed not to expect my life to change or improve in any way as I barely relocating my issues, baggage, trauma - or anything you'd like to call it - with me. I was warned I might just be trying to escape from myself and that nothing would change no matter where I lived.

Truth is, I was very aware of all that and was terrified I was making a huge mistake I might not be able to come back from. But, I made my mind up and decided I really didn't have anything to lose in trying. I thought "Worse comes to worse, I'll be miserable, but then I'm miserable here anyway, so there wouldn't be much difference now, would there?"
Turns out, even though I might have some bad days, I have a job I love, and that, beleive me, makes a massive difference. And I have Ash. Not to put any more pressure on her than there already is, but I really believe that these kinds of relationships come once in your life and I wasn't prepare to loose it to geographic relocation. God, I sound like a stalker... Nah, she's chuffed I'm here...