Have you ever wondered where we would be today had it not been for the feminist movement? I have, and a fascinating thought came to me. Yes, we are now all meant to be equal - ish - and all that, but have you ever stopped to think about the other implications of this process. What we lost on the way to gaining an independence I sometimes think I could have done without.
Yes, I am fairly autonomous, opinionated and strong. I do as I pleases 99% of the time, I rarely take no for an answer and I like things to be my way. But does that make me an independent person, or just a selfish one?
And what of the woman in me? She was born with certain animal instincts, so, had she been allowed to come into a world where these instincts where fulfilled, would she have grown into a loving mother, caring wife, exciting lover and a strong minded woman, or, would she have become needy, dependant and repressed? Either way, there were certain rules that helped defined who you were going to be. Today, those rules don’t apply. We now can work, have kids – with or without a partner – travel and pay our bills all by our lone self.
So instead, that woman in me is struggling to find her own place within today’s world. Instead, she has to be able to stand on her own two feet, need no one and expect nothing in return. Did we take it too far, and in the process, lose an important part of what made us men and women?
A couple of years ago, I was in a pub for a boogie – as you do – and I had one of the most interesting discussion one might have in such a setting. This bloke had just tried his best possible pick up line on the girl next to me. He wasn’t too cheesy nor overzealous but she was having none of it. And, as I watched him being ruthlessly rejected, I couldn’t help but let a sorry smile come to my face. He looked straight at me and I gave him my best “Sorry mate” facial expression. He raised his shoulders and said “Why do I bother? You women are driving me mad; you’re all over the place.”
We started talking and he gave me an insight in the way some men might think of us. He explained to me how difficult meeting women were nowadays. He emphasised on the whole female revolution and how it’s messed things up. How terrifying it is for any man to walk up to a woman and make it alive to the other side of the conversation. He said something that stayed with me. “Women are so volatile; we never know what mood you’re going to be in. From happy and frisky, and then we’re more likely to get an open response, to a really bad mood which regularly result on getting your head bitten off.”
As we talked some more, I realised that we had our revolution, but men didn’t. They watched in dismay as their women went through radical changes, their roles of providers dwindled and the belief they had been brought up with of the alpha male being reduced to shreds. As he left, he uttered: "I blame it all on feminism!"
I just read your blog and I thought it was extremely well written. Quite how you have done this - with English as your second language, is quite beyond me. It was written just how an English person would speak. I also liked the content. I suppose Ash has told you about the conversations we've had about how confusing it is these days with the blurred gender roles. I'm as confused about the whole thing as you and see it from yet
ReplyDeleteanother perspective of women been at sea doing roles traditionally seen as 'men’s'.
The backlash from feminism is an issue in that, whilst it has empowered women so that they now occupy the same space that the men always did it has left (some) men without a sense of identity or purpose which is not at all helped by 'ladette' culture. I am confident that this will change in time but for now there is little in the way of traditional values and I blame feminism too. On the other hand perhaps she just didn't like him. Women have always been volatile and unpredictable, it is part of their charm.
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