I have been blessed to have known and built very strong relationships with all 4 of my grand-parents as well as one of my great grand-parent. When she passed away, I cried for days but was barely 21 and somehow soon forgot the pain I had felt. Today, life feels more fragile than ever before. Having said goodbye to my dad's father last September, I am now contemplating saying good bye to my mum's mother.
I realise how much this has affected my relationship with the others. As I'm getting older and I'm seeing my grand-parents reaching the end of their adventure, I want to spend more and more time in their company. I want to be with them all the time, remind them how much I love them, be there to help them, keep them company and give back the years they have spent with me as a child. I want to cherish every instant, every laugh, every smile, every joke. I want to burn those memories in the back of my mind, to keep safe in the corner of my heart. I realise just how insignificant we really are, we live on borrowed time, each second bringing us closer to the unavoidable end.
Yesterday, having planned to have lunch with my dad's mother who is 85 and a half (her words, not mine), I decided that a couple of hours for lunch just wasn't long enough. As we sat down to the lovely meal she had prepared, I enquired about her interest in going clothes shopping with me. I wasn't sure of her reaction and somehow thought she would turn me down. Now, this is something I have never imagine ever doing, let alone considered, but for some reason, i just wanted to get her out of this little flat and take her into the big bad world.
I was totally flabbergasted when she jumped to the idea and even mentioned buying some new wine glasses. As we talked some more, she shared that the wine glasses she was using were 43yrs old and that she really didn't like them. She wanted some nice ones, "like your dad has" she said. So, after a coffee, which I was privileged to drink using the cups her and her husband used to use, and which she hadn't taken out since he passed away 5 months ago, she got changed saying "I always dress up when I go out" and we left.
I hear those who know me crying out " But you don't like coffee!" Truth is, I really hate coffee, but she just doesn't understand that anyone would not have coffee after their meal and it makes her so happy to see me drink it, that whenever I see her, I have a cup. It's funny the things you do for the people in your life.
And so, for about 2 hours, my nan and I went round a shopping mall. I didn't find anything, but she found the perfect wine glasses. I was amazed at how much she enjoyed that little trip, let alone how happy it made me. There was so much complicity between us, so many laughs, so much love, it resourced us both.
Now, you need to understand, my nan, this one especially, is very superstitious. There are many things that are considered a really catastrophe and breaking a glass is one of them... After I carefully took out her 8 new wine glasses and placed them in her display cabinet, I started packing the 9 old ones. In my haste, I knocked one which I watch, obviously unable to stop it, slowly roll of the table and smash on the living room floor. Nan came running in shouting: "What did you break?" I apologised as I showed her the old wine glass on the floor. She looked at me concerned: "it's not a new one?" she asked. "No" I replied, shaking my head. She laughed and said:" I don't care!" we both laughed as we cleared up the mess. Then her superstitious self kicked in and she cried with glee "It's luck for you because you broke it!"
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