Reasonable depression

Did you know that doctors sometimes use the term: reasonable depression...? Yes, apparently, if you lose one of your parents or a child, you are entitled to a certain amount of time being depressed. My question is, what about the rest of us? What about those of us who have both their parents, healthy children and have other problems that might cause some kind of depression. Do they call it unreasonable depression?

Well, either way, I now truly believe I must have been a really bad person in my past life. Why else would my life keep kicking me when I'm down? I mean, there I am, minding my own business, trying to just get on with my life, but noooooo, whoever is in charge up there has decided I'm just not going to have it this easy. For years, it just gave me bad relationships, the type you're meant to learn from, the type that damages your self-worth and your self-esteem.

And when you think you've learned your lesson, that you're ready for the real thing, it sends you a gentleman, a nice, kind and loving guy. It even lets you think that you might actually have a chance at happiness right there. It waits in the dark, watching as you get settled in your new, unusual role. Then, just because it can, it takes it away. No warnings. No reasons. At least, none that you are used to or can make sense of. No, this time, it’s just a case of him not being ready to move on. And for some reason, it just makes matters worse.

Now, at this point, you convince yourself it was just bad luck, no way was this done on purpose. So, you try to move on and eventually, well, you do. A few months later, in comes a new man, one that shows promising prospect, who is open and honest, who really likes you, and who doesn't have the issues the last one had. So down goes your carefully placed protective shell. Oh, what a mistake that was. And it knows, it watched and it smiles… Oh I bet it does! Because before you know it, this great prospect turns around to say that, actually, he's just met with a girl he used to be in love with and has just found out she felt the same. So, once again, you're left on the side line. No warnings either. Oh, he is sorry, he even suggests you stay friends.

Oh how much fun is your life right then? And still, that one in charge smiles and surrounds you with happy looking couples, just to remind you of what you're missing out on. It fills your life with friends who don't know what it's like to be 36 and single, who try to help by telling you that you’re not getting out enough, you're too fussy or you're looking too hard. If I had a pound for every time I heard the phrase: "It will happen when you're not looking for it", I would be financially set for life. And then, for some incomprehensible reason, it attacks the few parts you think you're in control of. It makes that job you love a nightmare by giving you power crazy committee members. It uses that exciting degree you've taken on to make you relive bad school days... And did I mention, to top it all up, it makes sure to give you an added bonus by making you fat? 

Oh the joy that is life. Who ever said life is beautiful? Because, I have to tell you the truth on this one, listen carefully, as they really don't want you to know this, it's too big, too much, too scary for any one person to face: Life sucks!!! At least mine feels like it right now. Anyway, this time, I think I'm entitled to some reasonable depression time. And I'm very much planning on cashing it in!