The rules and regulations of internet dating.

I started on the road of internet dating over 10 years ago… Over that time, I’ve had plenty of misshapes and false start. Amongst them all, I manage to develop one “long term” relationship. I’ve never really understood what that means: “long term”? I mean, how do you define what is long term? Looking back, some of my shorter connections have meant more to me than some of the lengthier ones. Is it more important or more difficult in the end than a shorter relationship you might have invested more of yourself in? Who defines those rules? Because if there is a manual, I haven’t read it!

However, after so many years, you’d think that, by now, I’d know how to work the system. Being a tad older than I was when I started, wisdom should follow, right? This would be true for a balanced, fully secured, self-confident and well adjusted - or just plainly sane - woman. However, I am none of the above. For those who know me well, what can I say, no surprises there.

And for years I have tried to become that woman. To find balance and peace within, to love the person I am to be, trust her instincts and respect her needs. To help her fulfil her dreams and grow to be that very sane person society has spent years telling her to become. What… a lot… of … bullocks!!! There are no rules! There are no lines one can follow to help survive the dating world we now live in. And it’s taken me this long to figure it out… Yes, not the sharpest tool in the box, I admit, but I never pretended to be.

Already, I can hear some of you thinking out loud: have you ever tried meeting someone the “natural way”? Now, there’s another interesting concept… The natural way. What is that, I ask you? Twenty years ago, from what I’ve heard, it meant meeting someone through friends, parties, work even. Although, for me, work has never been a very productive source of partners as I am surrounded by 3 foot tall people and there mothers!!! And as for my friends and their parties, let’s put it this way… they used to tell their friends: “you’ve got to meet this girl, she’s great. She’s really funny, ok and slightly mad … oh and a bit scary.” Not the best way to boost my chances, now, is it? In high sight, I was, at the time, a lot louder, brash, rough and scary than I am now. Yes I WAS!!! One thing I have going for me now though, as my friend pointed out to me the other day: “I don’t know how you keep going. Despite all the knocks you’re constantly getting, you just keep standing back up.” And as we talked some more, we had a think about the men I have met without the help of the internet… ready?... wait for it … None!!!

So, today, as I am considering joining yet another dating website – yes, don’t get me started - I decided to have a careful think of my past experiences. To do so, I wanted to have a look of the sites I had visited. Since I couldn’t remember them all, I typed Dating websites in my Google search. My, oh my… I knew cheating was easy nowadays, I just never realised it had become that easy!!! But that’s a whole different blog all together. So, after being slightly sidetracked with that crazy fact, I can now say that I have been on 6 different sites. Over 10 years that is! Although saying that, I know people who are on 2 or 3 sites at the same time, so six sites over 10 years really isn’t that bad.

What has become rather clear to me is that, if the site is free, it will be harder to separate the players and the lunatics from the gentlemen. Ok, that might be a bit of an overstatement, but one can dream, can’t I? So, that’s one of my first new rules. Oh, yes, I have NEW rules. I don’t read the dating rule book you see, I much prefer make up my own. Much more fun.

So, here they are…

1.     To choose a site that you can only access if you have put your hand in your pocket and separated yourself from your hard earned cash.

2.    To get ride of any man who talks to me about sex BEFORE we even meet.

3.    To get ride of any man who talks to me about my breasts or enquire about there size.

4.    Not to sleep with ANY man before the 3^rd date!!!

And that’s probably one of the hardest one for me to do …

So, watch this space… because with those new rules, I’m not going to be single much longer ;-).